‘Behaviour’, What do you think when you hear this word? A common term associated often with a negative stigma? A concerning phrase? A challenge to be had? All of the above are often the type of association we make when someone says the word ‘behaviour’. When we hear ‘we saw some behaviour today’ our responses are initially ‘oh no’, ‘what did they do?’ All of which are a natural response but in fact behaviour can be positive or negative, pro-social or anti-social.
I’d like to delve deeper into the word ‘behaviour’ and explore with you ‘what it’s really all about’ and our role within it.
Firstly, ALL BEHAVIOUR is a form of COMMUNICATION.
Yes, this is true and this statement is embedded into early years and every practitioner working with the children at Little Stars has this understanding. Behaviour can be words, manners, physical actions, emotional responses, all of which can be positive or negative. It’s a child’s actions and reactions influenced by their internal thoughts and feelings. It is their ability to self-regulate when faced with change, challenge and new experiences.
Is behaviour something a child can control? The answer is no not always, but it’s our job to give them the tools and life skills they need to learn to control how they respond and react in different situations.
It’s easy to spot the positive behaviours and forget to acknowledge them. Let’s face it we are seeing them multiple times a day. As practitioners our hardest job comes with the negative behaviours, it’s the ‘why?’ and ‘what?’. Why are we seeing this response and what is the child trying to tell us? Many children in early years cannot articulate these huge feelings and emotions they are experiencing, all of which form part of normal child development. Therefore, our job is to unpick, support and teach ways we can express ourselves that meet with society’s acceptable ideas of behaviour. We need to put down the foundations that will help the children to manage their own behaviours.
Behaviour when in positive forms should be valued, recognised and promoted with praise and recognition, therefore children will want to repeat their actions over and over again. When seeing those less favourable behaviours we need to avoid saying ‘no’ and ‘stop’ but consider changing our language and strategies. We need to acknowledge and show we understand with language such as ‘I can see you are feeling cross because…..’
To switch a child’s behaviour, they need to hear what they should be doing, we need to find the language to change our negatives to positives. Children must learn something new in place of the things we don’t want to see and that comes from what WE say in response to what WE see. Supporting the behaviour of our children requires patience, time, consistency and working together. Children learn from us; we provide the crucial early years role models.
So, I challenge you, when you want to say ‘no’ or ‘don’t’ or ‘stop’ to a child, pause, reflect and help them learn something new in its place by saying what you want them to do. Model the positive and avoid the negative, it’s harder than you think! Acknowledge those big feelings and ask, ‘how can I help you?’ In early years we embed this in our practice many times a day. Give it a go, stick with it and I guarantee the outcomes will amaze you!
Diane – SENCo and Preschool Room Leader
Little Stars Day Nursery 